Eli Wallach plays TUCO in the spaghetti western Il Buono, il Brutto, il Cattivo. He's awsome as a jerk. We can all learn something from him in this movie.
Even when your hanging from a rope you can still be a jerk...
The Spoiler.
JERK CITY - PROUD SUPPORTER OF PAN AM GAMES AND ROBERT PATTISON AND ROBOCOP !!!
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
The Good, the Bad and the JERKY!
Eli Wallach plays TUCO in the spaghetti western Il Buono, il Brutto, il Cattivo. He's awsome as a jerk. We can all learn something from him in this movie.
Even when your hanging from a rope you can still be a jerk...
The Spoiler.
THE CALL OF NATURE
'Tis the season!
Trees undress for winter
The lumberjack pulls a splinter.
Somewhere out there is Azmo-Susan,
Dancing naked on wet rocks,
In frantic search for autumn cocks.
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
THUNDARR IS PEACHES!!
I present to youse
the ultimate TV show for a seven year old.
It's perfectly timed
release (198
0) put it
in the mix at the height of the Sword & Sorcery craze before the release of 'Conan
the Barbarian' (1982) and 'Fire and Ice' (1983). Character designs by Alex Toth and Jack Kirby ruled,
as did the rediculous plotlines involving rat-men on
motorcycles in a post-apocalyptic America, topping
off with a battle with the Statue of Liberty come to
life and shooting flames.
Ookla the Moc, Thundarr and his gal-pal Ariel were a barrel of laughs; guaranteed by the stright-faced delivery of lines like 'This must be a portender of the human lair!' 'No, it's a movie poster.' 'Mooooo- veee?' 'Forget it. It's not a sign.' Not to mention the fact that Thundarr was way too dumb to pick up on the fact that Ariel had the hots for him. He only wanted to hang with Ookla...CHECK IT!
VIVA JERK CITY!
the ultimate TV show for a seven year old.
It's perfectly timed
release (198
0) put itin the mix at the height of the Sword & Sorcery craze before the release of 'Conan
the Barbarian' (1982) and 'Fire and Ice' (1983). Character designs by Alex Toth and Jack Kirby ruled,
as did the rediculous plotlines involving rat-men on
motorcycles in a post-apocalyptic America, topping
off with a battle with the Statue of Liberty come to
life and shooting flames.
Ookla the Moc, Thundarr and his gal-pal Ariel were a barrel of laughs; guaranteed by the stright-faced delivery of lines like 'This must be a portender of the human lair!' 'No, it's a movie poster.' 'Mooooo- veee?' 'Forget it. It's not a sign.' Not to mention the fact that Thundarr was way too dumb to pick up on the fact that Ariel had the hots for him. He only wanted to hang with Ookla...CHECK IT!
VIVA JERK CITY!
REGRETS!!!!!!!!!!!
Forehead horn here. I informed Azmodiar to inform you that this blog will end Oct 19, 2005.
It's been fun and have a good life.
Monday, October 17, 2005
Everybody loves a Jerk
Say what you want about this film, but its full of jerks. Every character in this farce is a complete arsehole, except the guy whom, in the beginning, seems to be the only jerk in sight. Turns out things are not what they seem.
You could say this film, ipso facto, is a study of jerkdom for "highbrow" types.
And do they ever love jerks, too. It got an award! How nice.
Twas I that pissed in your Wopper it's true !
and if you pull my royal finger than I shall have another gift for you. A flatulence so loud and so vile that you'll cry. You'll cry for your mother you stupid little child.
Back to work Jester JERKS ! !!!
Yes Your Majesty !!!!!
Here's a picture of a Frenchie that busted MY balls when I over there. He kinda looks like the Spoiler huh ?
Les Jerks Transport Inc.
Well hello friends and jerks,
I saw this animal friendly transport
during my stay in France.
What really cracks me up
is the that the doors are
secured with tape!!?
Sunday, October 16, 2005
"GET YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, ETCETERA!!"
INTRO
i was asked to put this image up on the jerk site but considering i've just spent the past TEN FUCKING MINUTES trying to log in to this infernal website, i'm not expecting much success.
REPRESENT
dirtman is a "character" designed to "promote" earthy "awareness" on behalf of the united states marines. dirtman "speaks" to a collective of mindless shills all in the throes of brain-washery, eager to snatch up some high school spirit or equivalent dung-eating.
BEAR WITNESS
as is plain to see, dirtman is, without question, "rapping" to His captive audience. "rapping" endears dirtman to a youthful brigade, drooling with anticipation of shooting off more FUCKING GUNS and killing more innocent citizens of the universe, in an almighty bid to control the ENTIRE COCK-SUCKING, FUCKING **PLANET**!!! FUCK!!!!!
FASHION FORWARD
whilst dirtman further sullies Himself by consorting with all & sundry associated with the ARSE-COCKING, FUCKING, U.S. FUCKING MARINES, one can't deny His deft aesthetic in the arena of head dressage. with a heavy brow, severed just below the tropic of capricorn, and covering the top dominion of his bespectacled visage, dirtman shimmers in all his resplendence. three times HURRAH for dirtman, the unequivocal choice for hallowe'en costuming, this autumn season!
Friday, October 14, 2005
Jerk Fort
Sometimes when i am not building dioramas or playsets in my freezer i like to build forts in my living room . Here is a picture of one that i built the other night when Jeff Size was over watching the hockey game . As you can see it was wicked cool and Coach enjoyed hisself quite thoroughly as you can tell by the bottom pic .
forts are peaches , build yourself some peaches today !
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Oh wonderful mysteries ! Oh wonderful joy !
I opened my freezer and what did I sees? The Lord teaching kids to hit with the greatest of ease.
Bless you my ice box of heaven.
Jerk this !
Hey Blog Laver i also built this , now who is smart? it is an action film from a war movie so there !
LIFES A BEACH !!!!!!
Here's what I got when I looked up monkeynuts in google images. Ha ha ha... look at that face..
Who's the jerk NOW?-or - Wrath of Khan
I picked up this little ditty at the airport and finished it in four days - it was that good.
Previously known only as a bloodthirsty and exceptionally cruel (and he was) 'barbarian', this book written by a group of professors hailing from Mongolia, Russia, India and America (the primary author) dumps that crap on history's ear. They deciphered a text known as 'the secret History of the Mongols' written by one of Genghis' court, and used that perspective on the empire to help get this book completed.
Turns out, while he was killing citizens by the millions...he invented free trade, promoted religious tolerance, and the division of church and state...oh, and he abolished the use of torture in a time when the Europeans were doing none of the above...just burning Jews, torturing heretics, and operating with the feudal/slave system. Genghis actually left Europe alone because it was too poor and backwards....
Stalin was using his tactics in WWII against the Germans, and Ol' Bushie could use a few of his policies (rather than following the ol' join us or die approach)...several contributors actally risked their lives (and lost family members) by studying this guy when the Communists were in power. That's how scared the Russians were of his legacy. Read it if you see it!
MonkeyNuts the unknown jerk facts
Many of you may or may not know this little tidbit when i performed as part of the minipops .
Both on the record and at various tours to places like Canada's Wonderland and the Unionville county fair .
strange but true
Best Freezer Ever
Sometimes in my spare time i like to make some dramatic dioramas of my favorite films . Without a doubt The Empire Strikes Back has to be the best in the Star Wars series , and as a tribute i give you this . Best freezer ever !
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
This movie makes me furious.
By now I'm sure you've heard about this crazy movie. UNICEF Belgium created this commercial where the smurf village gets bombed and all the smurfs are killed.Everybody seems to be of the impression that it's subversive or something since terrible shi.t is happening to the smurfs. I find it freakin disturbing.
Rich Jerks
Here are two of the richest jerks in the eighties , from the movie Trading Places . Mortimer and Rudolph Duke . Who can beat their greediness , their racist comments and downright jerkness ?
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
Friday, October 07, 2005
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Jerky Pokey
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is
worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost
went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey," died peacefully at age 93. (P.S. don't think everyone here is passed out - that means you Mr Greyshirt )
Take's me back .
aw..good ol Deputy Dawg.
What a real fuck he was to his
little woodland buddies.
I hated that jerk.
Dog Jerk
Deputy Dawg still is a classic jerk for all time . Not only does he represent "the MAN" he is always being a prick to the possum and the muskrat , interfering with their good times .
the fact that a dog holds a position as keeper of the peace is just absurd , and dressing like han solo doesn't help .
Hooray for cartoons bi.tches !
Good Morning Peaches
hello and good morning
considering what picture i was going to post be thankful you got some peaches
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
From the Jerk Vault.
I think you would all agreethat this table of pip's should
be added to your
Pantheon of idiots.
Anime for Jerks!
Anyone wonder what the hell anime would look like in real life. Here's a link showing you.
The Spoiler
The Spoiler
Robert Carlyle is a JERK!
Now that you mention Robert Carlyle...How about his portrayal of the ultimate jerk Francis Begbie in the 1996 film TRAINSPOTTING.
Not only is he an asshole, he also has a hair trigger. A wonderful combination for a JERK.
The Spoiler
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Happy Thanksgiving, Jerkos!
" If you die first, I'm definitely gonna eat you..."Perfect jerky prayer to say at the family table as you sit down to eat, celebrating the jerkiest holiday of all, Thanksgiving. Thanks for losing, Indians!
And thanks to Robert Carlyle for the biggest jerk to hit horror flicks since Angus Scrim.
GP is a jerk
GP the Guinea Pig is the mad JERK inventor of the Riverbank. His mighty JERK brain comes up with lots of great JERK ideas... like his aeroplane, his car, his balloon, his JERK winchamabob and his recyclamobile. He's always boastinglike a JERK , but everybody likes him anyway. Way to go GP you JERK !
A is for Apple you jerks !
A is for apple which is also good . It ain't no peach but it is pretty good .
Monday, October 03, 2005
Markie Post is peaches!
All the talk of Kelly Le Brock last week got me to thinkin about the BEST 80s chick. For my money, it's the always overlooked Markie Post. Forehead can chirp all he wants about that skanky ho Heather Thomas but Markie has yet to hit a wall.
Get your hands off of me, you damn dirty JERK!
Check out the all time great JERK.
Chuck Heston.
Man, this guy is a jerk even when he's not in the movies.
The Spoiler.
Jungle Jerk
To follow up on the Arnie line of posts , here is a number one JERK who was in the jungle with Arnie back in predator . Too bad he dies so soon into the flick , but he makes it memorable . As a side note , both Arnie and Jesse are now both governors . weird eh ? What's next Apollo Creed ?
Sunday, October 02, 2005
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