4.0 star rating
7/14/2011
I don't know what it is about these motherfuckers in the gymnasiums but it's like they've never seen a nigga in a headband before.
Come on my people. I'm not a motherfucking ham sandwich lifting weights im just a motherfuckin nigga in a headband and a velour jumpsuit working on my fitness.
IF you can't focus on your regiment cos you're distracted by a fly nigga then that is not my fault.
Instead of hatin' on a nigga why don't you use me as a motivating factor. Take advantage of the fact that I'm such a beautiful distraction and work on your discipline and focus. I can make you a stronger individual mentally if you just learn to embrace me.
With that being said.
There's really no need to refine my *nearly flawless* physique but I appreciate a gym with good equipment and 'atmosphere'.
And by 'atmosphere', I'm referring to the principality of how many fly birds are workin' out vs. how many males be hating on a nigga.
Union Square Crunch has the BEST ratio of fly birds to niggas that be hating. Astor Place has the worst. Alot of niggas. Not alot of birds.
Since nacho cheese has the all-access crunch pass (you know Nacho cheese come correct) I've ranked them in order using this system.
(Ratio is FLY BIRDS : NIGGAS THAT BE HATIN ON A NIGGA)
1. Union Square Crunch
10:1 Ratio
THIS PLACE BE POPPIN' WITH THEM NYU BIRDS AND YOU KNOW NACHO CHEESE LOVES AN EDUCATED WOMAN
2. Noho Crunch
6:1 Ratio
A lot of pretentious birds in here but Nacho Cheese loves a challenge
3. E. 59th street Crunch
6:1 Ratio
NEW FACILITIES. BITCHES LOVE A NEW FACILITY.
4. Fort Greene
2:1 Ratio (Don't sleep on Fort Greene there's mad honey's in fort greene)
Facility is a little bit small but I find this intimate setting makes it easier for birds to approach me. Anything that makes it easier for a fine young woman to loosen her guard and approach Nacho Cheese is a positive aspect.
6. Astor Place Crunch
1:5 Ratio
THE LOCKER ROOMS HERE PERPETUALLY SMELL LIKE A CAB DRIVERS ASSHOLE ON AN AUGUST AFTERNOON
I do not recommend the Astor Place location due to the abundance of juiced out niggas that congregate here. The only positive is it's 24 hours so I can get my late-night fitness on.
7. 83rd Street
No ratio applicable here due to the influx of old-ass affluent white people who be getting on my damn nerves
So..
If you see Nacho Cheese 'working out' at one of these facilities and you're a fly bird by all means please do not hesitate to approach me. I got nothing against the gays but there's a plethora of gay niggas hittin on Nacho all day long so.. ladies.. feel free to approach me and do not fear the headband the velour jumpsuit or the sweet scent of Chanel Platinum exuding from my pores.
THE ACTUAL REVIEW FOR YOUR JERKY PERUSAL
