Wednesday, August 31, 2011

(almost) nothing compares

so today, i'm checkin' out my motherfuckin' "E-mail", and along comes this nugget straight from sorrell booke:

Ugh. Time has not been kind to her:



























at first, i thought the second image was, in fact, not her. but further investigation proved me wrong. up until recently, sinéad was looking good. a little older, a little greyer,
but still every bit as beautiful as 20 years ago. and then something happened & she started putting on the pounds. just around the midsection, mind, but still, it was an indicator.

there was a brief period later in her career when she let her hair grow out a little bit (think equally damaged winona ryder fuckin' pixie bullshit) and she looked fabulous. now, not so much. now, i think we can all agree, she's just given up, and the length, coupled with packing on the pudge in every last corner of her frame, is part & parcel of the new sinéad.

or as sorrell directed me this morning,
the new anal sinéad. <--- click dis shit, turkeys!

Sunday, August 28, 2011

These ladies get it done

Friday, August 26, 2011

Dubstep Remix (Featuring Porchington the Cat)

Thursday, August 25, 2011

In the event that you don't have the time to spare...

Here's a summary of Drag's last post:



watch to the end....

Watch to the end.

super lame

























Asshole Boutique® is having a sale, apparently. what self-respecting dude would wear this thing? it's lame in the first place to strut around town in an obnoxious superman outfit. period. at the fucking gymnasium, though?? what the fuck? at first, i thought this was a seven year old, judging by his scrawnier-than-thou physique, but his whiskers betray a man old enough to know when he ought to change his fuckin' duds!I

I CAN FUCKING SEE HE'S CIRCUM-BLOODY-CISED!!!

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

you mean THIS?



AND WE WILL *FORCE* YOU TO LISTEN TO OUR EXPERIMENTAL SOUNDS AS YOU EAT LUNCH!


Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Such a good clip

Monday, August 22, 2011


I love this shit

Friday, August 19, 2011

I challenge you Porchy

this post should put me back on top

For your consideration...

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

FUK NOO YAWLK

somebody punch this guy in the cunt

from the archives

i found this whilst rummaging through some emails of yore. from Papa B:

Drunk man fouls car seat, wipes himself with Bible

SURREY, B.C. — A man was arrested in the Vancouver suburb of Surrey after he defecated on the seat of a car, wiped himself off with a Bible and then sought refuge in a nearby police vehicle.

The 33-year-old intoxicated man was at a Halloween party Saturday night when he stumbled out the door to use another guest's car as a toilet.
The outraged partygoers began yelling at the man, who then climbed into a police vehicle, where he was bit by a service dog and then arrested.


Tuesday, August 16, 2011

blast from le past


keepin' it ray-alle on the dufferin blue light.

Monday, August 15, 2011

Down with the New Jerk Order !

Sunday, August 14, 2011

nacho cheese come correct




4.0 star rating
7/14/2011

I don't know what it is about these motherfuckers in the gymnasiums but it's like they've never seen a nigga in a headband before.

Come on my people. I'm not a motherfucking ham sandwich lifting weights im just a motherfuckin nigga in a headband and a velour jumpsuit working on my fitness.

IF you can't focus on your regiment cos you're distracted by a fly nigga then that is not my fault.

Instead of hatin' on a nigga why don't you use me as a motivating factor. Take advantage of the fact that I'm such a beautiful distraction and work on your discipline and focus. I can make you a stronger individual mentally if you just learn to embrace me.

With that being said.

There's really no need to refine my *nearly flawless* physique but I appreciate a gym with good equipment and 'atmosphere'.

And by 'atmosphere', I'm referring to the principality of how many fly birds are workin' out vs. how many males be hating on a nigga.

Union Square Crunch has the BEST ratio of fly birds to niggas that be hating. Astor Place has the worst. Alot of niggas. Not alot of birds.

Since nacho cheese has the all-access crunch pass (you know Nacho cheese come correct) I've ranked them in order using this system.

(Ratio is FLY BIRDS : NIGGAS THAT BE HATIN ON A NIGGA)

1. Union Square Crunch
10:1 Ratio
THIS PLACE BE POPPIN' WITH THEM NYU BIRDS AND YOU KNOW NACHO CHEESE LOVES AN EDUCATED WOMAN

2. Noho Crunch
6:1 Ratio
A lot of pretentious birds in here but Nacho Cheese loves a challenge

3. E. 59th street Crunch
6:1 Ratio
NEW FACILITIES. BITCHES LOVE A NEW FACILITY.

4. Fort Greene
2:1 Ratio (Don't sleep on Fort Greene there's mad honey's in fort greene)
Facility is a little bit small but I find this intimate setting makes it easier for birds to approach me. Anything that makes it easier for a fine young woman to loosen her guard and approach Nacho Cheese is a positive aspect.

6. Astor Place Crunch
1:5 Ratio
THE LOCKER ROOMS HERE PERPETUALLY SMELL LIKE A CAB DRIVERS ASSHOLE ON AN AUGUST AFTERNOON

I do not recommend the Astor Place location due to the abundance of juiced out niggas that congregate here. The only positive is it's 24 hours so I can get my late-night fitness on.

7. 83rd Street
No ratio applicable here due to the influx of old-ass affluent white people who be getting on my damn nerves

So..
If you see Nacho Cheese 'working out' at one of these facilities and you're a fly bird by all means please do not hesitate to approach me. I got nothing against the gays but there's a plethora of gay niggas hittin on Nacho all day long so.. ladies.. feel free to approach me and do not fear the headband the velour jumpsuit or the sweet scent of Chanel Platinum exuding from my pores.

THE ACTUAL REVIEW FOR YOUR JERKY PERUSAL

activision has ruined you!

The main reason I don't play video games right here. I'd turn into this guy in four days or less. Don't believe me? Look at Porchy. Just LOOK at him.

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Films!


Shaq next to his human sized girlfriend

UNLEASH YOUR COMMENTS



oh *heck*.

this note's for you, porchy.

Tuesday, August 09, 2011

doin the coon jerk


Monday, August 08, 2011

spark it

how much of a fucking explanation do i need to put up for you knobs, other than to say that we should all take a page from guitarist matt pike's book, which very clearly states that we should not be ashamed of our terrestrial vessels? just look at that rock & roll ponch!

this is from sleep's seminal work Dopesmoker.


Sunday, August 07, 2011

Friday, August 05, 2011

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared from This Is It on Vimeo.



Excellent work today JRKS I have been enjoying your creativity!

eat a bag of shit, americunt

a bird in the nest, asshole.
















now piss off for the next month.

pipe down, drago

Thursday, August 04, 2011

Postcards from the Ledge Series. Vol.1

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

Monday, August 01, 2011



Happy Holidaze Jerks!

who you gonna call?