LONG LIVE THE KING

and can i just say what an honour it is to have you back, forehead horn? i was recently commenting to some jerkcity enthusiasts about what a drag it's been since you've been gone, FH, but that i knew —i knew— that upon your triumphant return, a ray of sunshine would beam through the megalopolis. everyone agrees, this is a great blog, by the way.

HOWEVER, just as the chinese have hacked our federal databases, sir, so too has my own account been hijacked & my identity purloined. this is doubly aggravating because these other people —people who are totally unrelated to me, you must understand— spent the week besmirching your (great!) name, FH, and generally fueling the fires of dissent. not cool. NOT COOL, PEOPLE!

i want to go on the record as saying that even as recently as two weeks ago, adolf & americus tried to coerce me into trash-talking you, forehead horn, but i wouldn't have any of it. if you want to know who hacked my account to make those slanderous & totally misrepresentative comments, i suggest we look amongst our own.

faithfully yours,

tSoWR