P Time ?

hi.

Holiday Shut Down ?

I guess I'm the only idiot around here working this festive season. Anyway my Christmas suc.ked. I got a pair of slippers and worked the whole time.
The only thing that kept me going was the Narnia Rap.

Merry Christ-mass friends of Jerk City !!!!!!

Pitbull vs. Porcupine

British Jerk

Nothing like good ol Blackadder to turn the jerk meter on full. I can't even being to tell you how much I love this guys zings.
Let me know if any of you can find any clips from the show.

Put food on my family

some Bush for Monkeynuts

Jerkowski !

happy seasons to each and everyone of you knuckleheads !


so says bukowksi
and so it is

everyone good night

make a film outta this.

I figured I'd make this movie magic thing a regular post just to get our creative juices flowing.

Here's the idea. This short fat couple have a giant son that never wants to leave home. What happens next ? Any ideas ?

Later Poopsicle

Ahhh i can't believe that i forgot to post about this gem after it was on the television last week
sharp , witty and sassy
and this beauty was just as fun to watch as it was to work on

did i mention we got autographed shirts?

Nutcracker Nightmare

Last night I had a nightmare.
A nutcracker just like in the picture was chasing me.
After struggling to run away in quicksand the nutcracker caught up and chopped my balls of.
I woke up in a puddle of sweat, moaning in a terrible throbbing pain.
One of my testicals slid up and was strangled by the tube.
It took me 20 minutes to untangle this damn nut!

Make a movie outta this.

Superman has to battle a giant nerd that's is jealous of him and wants to screw his girl. Now that's a story..

in YER Piehole !

Film number 7 !

ZIGRA !!!!! In this picture the giant turtle fights a parrot-fish-alien monster who hypnotizes humans.

hang in there AZMO !

GAMERA !!!

I love Gamera cause he was kind to little children.

all about AZMODIAR

i am not naming names but apparently some of these posts are offensive to those of you who dont like girls
or funny soundbites or links to things that are funny

so this is for you

Happy Wednesday Evrybodies !

i hope you are having the most wonderfullest wednesday of them all
and that you have all of your holiday shopping finished !
LOL

and here are some teddy bears for you to look at

Jerky Good Fortune

someone once told that while the wife was away he would be alone in jerkcity

so lucky for you i found this pic

get a big bag of frito-lays and tug yourself silly

Keeping the monkey happy...

Here ya go ya big baby. Alyssa Milano signing the autographs for the troops with a boob out.

Just two guys...

...and we're having a good time

the INTRANET has many uses

screw the technology
where are the boobies?

ps easily worst post of the day

Chronic-WHAT!-cles

here.

Merry XMas !

Some of you may remember my friends at palfloat.com

Here's some links to there webpages. I think them funny wonny... I hope you do too.
Happy holidays.

http://www.palfloat.com/worldsalad/doodles9.html
http://www.palfloat.com/chaired/
http://www.palfloat.com/comic/
http://www.palfloat.com/palvision/
http://www.palfloat.com/worldsalad/
http://www.palfloat.com/gallery/

A Christmas plea.

A while ago, I encountered both Forehead and Laver on the street and discussed inviting the fourth member of our party to become a Jerk City contributor. It doesn't appear to have happened.

I implore our leader to welcome this Tom Wopat-looking mofo into the fold.

What say you pumper brother???

Hear me out or I'll slap the black off all y'all.

If you're like me, life hasn't been the same without Charlie Brown Kwanzaa. You'll need realplayer.

Wow.

All of you jerks know how much I enjoy looking at pictures of people with horrible medical abnormalities and laughing. Well, this morning I found an example that managed to knock me on my ass.

I won't post a picture, but here's a link for those of you who dare.

Unsolved Mysteries

The mystery of women is finally solved thank god
Learn to talk to women , pick up super models and have females of all shapes and sizes eating right out of your hands !

and can you believe this jerk is from toronto and used to play dungeons and dragons !

yes it is all true he even wrote a book

The Official Definition!

The act of performing anal cunnilingus while reaching up above the testicles to manually administer quick up and down motions to the penile shaft; resulting in a violent yet pleasant explosion. It is then customary for the female to then give a quick blow into the anus for good luck, the lips blowing into the anus sounds very similar to a trombones sweet melody. This was introduced to the Americas in the late 50's.

There are more definitions here

There's no "bunk bed", or "club house" but there is a term called, "painting the clubhouse"

E-nuff-Z-nuff

Here they are in there prime. I bet there a bunch of fat stupid slobs by now. Tempest Fugent !

Tis the season...

For those of you that remember this last year I hope you enjoy.

For those that don't have any idea what I'm talking about that take a look.

CAROL HUNGERSsss!!!!!!

She can eat all the diamonds she wants, they ain't helpin' her out none!

I! AM! CREATURE!!!!!!

Bruce Vilanch, celebrity.

Ghengis Jerk

For some reason Johny Wayne thought he should play Ghnegis Khan in a movie
what a jerk
i couldnt believe it when i came across this gem
his accent is amazing

SPOILER have you seen this gem ?

Shut Yo Big Mouth

as promised here are some links to the funny sound files
lots and lots of the funny clips from your favorite movies and tv shows
now you can post with funny sounds and look like a real whiz
or a real jerk


ear archives

wav source

clay's oddity wavs

rod serling sound collection

wav junky

daily wav



brought to you by a Jerk original Redd Foxx




enjoy

Brown may be down but...........

so the damn charlie brown link is down ., too much traffic i suppose
so i bring you this little treat


enjoy

Party Pooper

is it just me or are do these kids know how to to party ?
the evidence is here
lots of pics

and Mario where did you get those peaches ??

google searchers...

Been working out...

I just sat here for the past two hours reading all the retarded shit you ass.holes wrote about: Lightning bolts, to "I don't remember doing that", to the hottest thongs ever. Those were hot hot hot thongs.

The jerks on JerkCity are the muthafuckist!

I'm glad I finally found out who Blog Laver is...

D14

Dirty Jerk

way to go and make a Christmas classic funny


jerks

"Of all the mot.her.fuc.kers, you tha mo.th.er.fuc.kest!"

straight from Mr Square Bear to you !

Take a good look at your Mentors.

Clive Smith, Charlie Badifuco.ha ha ha...

I wonder what they would say about this wondrful piece of animations. ?

parlez-moi!

Dig For VICTORY!

this has nothing to do with monkies, you outta know, peaches, dumb movies or anything else that is stupid. yes thats right, i find it interesting so it must be worth your while...

I think he's trouble's started right around here.

Funny guy that Pryor. When I was a kid we used to listen to a comedy lp of his that my brother owned. I was very small but I loved listening to the dirty sh.it.

The Dark Prince of Comedy

I found this picture last week when i was looking this dude up

the original SUPERNIGGER

even more RICHARD PRYOR

even Richard Pryor likes monkeys

and talks about the devil

Richard Pryor 1940-2005

On his freebasing accident:

"Let me tell you what really happened... Every night before I go to bed, I have milk and cookies. One night I mixed some low-fat milk and some pasteurized, then I dipped my cookie in and the shit blew up."

Still Real to ME !

I thought a few of you might enjoy this tidbit

Happy Monday

I hope you didn't wake up like this guy.

Jerk's on Film ?

I saw this film called the Swimmer with Burt Lancaster and I really liked it. I came into late so can any of you movie fucks tell me what the hell this movies about ?

JERKS on Film is back!

Sorry guys...I've been workin to a deadline, but faithfully watching the wonderful lights of Jerk City from afar.

Mama, I'm coming home...

The Spoiler.

Oh where are the Faithful?

where is Drago-vail ? and all of the other tossers that used to post in this bloog?

Res-Erect "you oughta know "

those were the days when we had "YOU OUGHTA KNOW "
funny , informative and blogtastic
back in the heyday of this blog when the kids were in charge
when the SPOILER loved us and entertained us with tales of JERKS IN FILM

oh if only i could go back in time

Hey Spoiler! pss pss Spoooilerrr!

This'll draw him out.

Interviews with the genius writers behind such great films as 'The Island', 'Transformers', 'Fantastic Four'.....(and actually a lot of better films too.)!!!

Come one, come all, to the film fu.k festival of gobbedly-gook jargon and jerkiness....the creative screenwriting podcast!! Gorge yourself on Hollywood angst, buddy.

UPtown Girl

so be it if Spoiler doenst play with the likes of us dirty kids then he can have his caviar sandwiches or whatever else that porchy said !

azmo rules !

Ou est Le Spoiler ???

The Spoiler has left us ? to pursue adventures with the upper elite?
P-shaw i donno beleeve it !