Tuesday, November 29, 2005

holy crap you guys...Santa is a Wildman!



This is one of the many reasons to stay out of Scandinavia in the winter, folks. Recently in the LA Weekly:

"If Stallo (Laplander version of Santa) cannot find anything to drink, he will bash in a child's skull, sucking out the brains and blood to satiate his thirst. The most dangerous night for Lapp children is Christmas Eve, when Stallo lurks about looking for naughty victims to cram into his sack. "

He also "delights in macabre acts of genital mutilation of his innocent victims. (Stallo pokes his staff up the skirts of young girls.) "

And then there's this: "One of the Earth's portals of hell (located in Västerbotten County, Sweden) is called Devil's Crater (Djävulskratern), a bottomless pit "...

Good g.ddamn, man. DON'T GO TO THE ICE HOTEL, BUDDY!!! IT'S AN EVIL PLOT FOR YOUR SOUL!!!

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